Thursday, May 4, 2017

Our 4th

It's been about 9 months since the beginning stages of our 2nd frozen embryo transfer (FET) in which we transferred our 4th and final embryo. Although I've come to a place of healing (but not without some tricky intermittent grief) I had been putting off recording the details here because I was still working on being ready to put it down into words. But today, I'm ready.

Our 1st FET (exactly a year ago today, May 4, 2016) ended in miscarriage in June 2016 and we began our 2nd FET cycle in August 2016. The details are lined out as follows:

August 2016 - August 1, 2016, a few days into my cycle, I began taking the prescribed Necon birth control which is the first medication in FET protocol.

August 10, 2016 I began giving myself daily Lupron injections in the abdomen. Lupron prevents ovulation during a FET cycle which would throw off timing of uterine receptivity.

August 16, 2016 I took my last birth control pill.

August 24, 2016 I began wearing estradiol (estrogen) patches on my abdomen to thicken and mature uterine lining.

September 2016 - September 9, 2016 Tom began giving me nightly intramuscular (IM) progesterone injections in the glutes. Progesterone is also used to prepare and mature uterine lining.

September 14, 2016 At 2:45pm our 4th and final blastocsyt was transferred to my uterus.


September 20, 2016 We left for Walt Disney World early in the morning and I continued patching and injecting medications while we were on our trip. I never began to feel early pregnancy symptoms like I had several days after our IVF and 1st FET. Instinctually I knew this FET did not work but I still tested twice with the HPT's I had packed. Not surprisingly, both of the HPT's were negative.

September 23, 2016 Originally, I was scheduled to have my pregnancy test blood-work at the clinic this day, but we were still in Florida.

September 26, 2016 A day after we arrived home from our trip, I went into the clinic for my official pregnancy test and as I expected, it was negative for pregnancy.

Although it wasn't the news we were desiring and our hearts were broken once again, I felt a huge sense of relief. The relief came from knowing that after all the trying, testing, tracking, appointments, injections, blood draws, ultrasounds, patches, pills, procedures, and waiting, I didn't have to undergo any further fertility treatments. After 4 IUI's, 1 fresh cycle of IVF, and 2 FETs, we are closing the chapter that we opened 8 years ago in January 2009 when we decided we were ready to start a family. Out of this chapter of our journey, we received 2 precious children that we realize now more than ever are complete miracles (who somehow will be turning 5 this Saturday!!). Even being almost a year removed from our 1st FET/miscarriage, we're still continuing to process the final phase of our fertility journey. I notice how my heart reacts differently to certain triggers now and I can look back and see the healing that has taken place. Together we have taken steps to obtain more closure for our hearts and we're ready for this new chapter with our family.

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